The Artemis Fowl News Spot
by slime frog
Summary: All the latest news and rumours from the AF world... stuff about the third book, the movie, and links to the best sites!
1. 05:12:02

Hello!!! And welcome to the Artemis Fowl News Spot (or the AFNS as I have just decided to abbreviate it to). Now, before we get started, I would just like to make the point that I have a feeling that this is against the FF.n rules, but as I'm doing this so that we can all stay informed and up-to-date, please don't report me. I think if they find this, they may remove it as it has no plot, but if that happens, I'll think of a way around it. Just thought I'd say that.

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DISCLAIMER: Ok, I'm only gonna do this once… I don't own anything from Artemis Fowl. I also don't actually own any of the news, as I just go around on the web looking for it, so I'm just… collecting it. If someone tells me a link or a bit of news, then I shall say who they were. Just nobody sue me…

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BOOK THREE

~ _Called 'The Eternity Code'_… I found loads of sites that said this, so it's not just a one-off thing. But that may not be the real title… I no it's awful to mention HP here, but before the fourth book came out, loads of people heard it was going to be called 'The Doomspell Tournament' which it wasn't, it was called 'The Goblet of Fire'. However, the rumoured name was probably the one JK thought she was maybe gonna use, then decided on the other. This may again be the case with Eoin Colfer. Just keep it in mind.

~ _Probably gonna be out around summertime 2003…_ this is actually me guessing and theorising, so don't take my word for it. That's just for those who really had no clue at all.

~ _Mulch will be working for the Chicago mob as a cat burglar_… now _this_ apparently came from the very mouth of Colfer himself, so it's got a good chance of being true. You have to remember that none of this is really confirmed, and could all be wrong. But hopefully not.

~ _There's a murder mystery in the third book_… this comes courtesy of crazygirly007 who found it… I don't actually know where she found it, but on the web somewhere. This means that I can't take any credit for it. Damn. Well, actually, I did type it up… *clearsthroat* Ahem… anyway….

~ _This may well be the last book_… there was always gonna be three… there are mentions of a trilogy all over the web. However, Colfer said, when asked if this would be the last book, that half way through the third book he had 'what he thinks is a great idea' and he ain't sure what to do with it yet. He is, however, planning a kid's thriller. So there may be a fourth one. We shall see…

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MOVIE:

~ _Released in summer 2003/2004_… most websites say 2003, but as they haven't even started filming yet, as far as I know, this probably isn't as realistic as 2004. It said it would be out in 2004 on a film website – it has little profiles of hundreds of films –director, scriptwriter, cast, etc… so I think that one is more reliable.

~ _They are looking for an Irish Artemis_… say it with me people; YAY!!!! Colfer has specially requested this I think… so it should hopefully happen… even if they don't get someone from the Emerald Isle, they will hopefully (man, I use that word a lot…) get someone who can do the accent. I hope and I pray.

~ _Holly is going to be played by an 'American Female'_… this also came from Colfer, and, lets face it, it's almost definitely true. *sigh* But what can you do? I shall _not _start ranting about how she is Irish, or at least British… or at least, not today…

~ _Neither Cameron Diaz nor Winona Ryder will be playing Holly_… I don't know why, but neither of 'em is gonna be doing it. All I can say to that is… GOOD!! They are both so wrong!

~ _Will be directed by Lawrence Guterman_… he's the guy that did 'Cats and Dogs'. I actually haven't seen that. If you have seen it, was it good?

~ _The screenwriter is John Stockwell_… apparently, he's a big fan of Colfer's, and is gonna keep the script as close to the book as possible. I can't tell you what he did before though… I ain't got a clue who half these people are…

~ _It's going to be a 'family genre' film_… ok, don't actually know exactly what that means, but I think it's that it's going to be a family film. Pretty obvious really, but there you go…

~ _It's being produced by Miramax Films_… you probably already knew that, but still…

~ _Two of the producers are going to be Robert De Niro and Jane Rosenthal_… ok, again I have no clue how good they are at doing that, and I don't even know who the woman is, but still…

~ _Colfer is quoted as saying 'it will have stars we all recognise'_…. Hmmm… not much to say about that…

~ _He also said that Miramax will be making an announcement about the film (presumably cast and crew) shortly_… so maybe they're finally gonna tell us something!

~ _It will apparently stick close to the book, with some 'new scenes'_… *looks cynical* oh, so like the flying car almost crashing into the train in the second HP movie? Whatever… we all know they will be fake, and not the genuine thing… sorry, but I'm totally against the whole movie thing anyway, and now this…

~ _Apparently the special effects will be 'amazing'_… I can't think of anything else to add that isn't just me ranting on, and on, and on…

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LINKS TO THE BEST AF SITES I HAVE FOUND:

www.artemisfowl.co.uk

This is the official UK site. It used to have this thing where you signed up as a LEP officer, and went to capture trolls, but it's finished now. You didn't get to do anything anyway. If anyone cares, I was FREAK from the team Troll Terminators. We sucked. Anyway, it has a Gnommish translator, and some stuff… it's quite good.

www.artemisfowl.com

This is the official site from Miramax. But don't get excited. There's nothing about the movie there. It's basically the first two chapters, a weenie bit of info about E.C and a game that's really easy, and really crap. You have to find Artemis. You get clues to the city he's in. Dead boring. But I thought I'd put it for the sake of putting it…

http://artemisfowl.tripod.com/index.htm

This is the Artemis Fowl Fun Site. Stupid name, but I reckon it's the best site out there for Artemis Fowl. There's stuff about the movie, there's games, and there's lots of other stuff. It was from there that I found out about the Arctic Incident in February, and how I discovered fanfic. It's really good.

http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Nook/1082/eoin_colfer_page.html

This is actually quite old… it's been there and unchanged since I first started searching the net for AF… over a year ago now, but it has lots of stuff about the background of the first book. For example, it's got stuff about Stockholm Syndrome, and the Lia Fail. Good for those obsessives like myself who need to know every detail. But again, only about the first book. But I warn you… you may need sunglasses for that webpage… it's bright green… you have been warned…

www.geocities.com/thephlegmpot 

Ok, I'm sick of seeing everyone asking for translations… this is where I learnt how to write Gnommish. It has grammar and the alphabet. Just go there and learn it! I think you can also download Gnommish as a font… enjoy.

www.sluggie.co.uk/artemisfowl

This is really cool… it hasn't got much information, but it's got fan art, and good fan art at that. Holly, Root, Arty, Foaly and Mulch all on there. There is also translations for the codes at the bottom of both books, and the alphabet of both Gnommish and Centaurean. That girl is really talented…

Right then… I can't be bothered to go and find the addresses for some of the other sites… those are the best ones… maybe I'll put 'em in the next 'chapter'. There are links to them on these websites anyway. Hope you enjoy 'em.

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Well then… that was the first ever AF news 'broadcast'. Hope it was informative. 

Now, to keep it filling up with fresh information, I need you guys to help. Please. If 

you know anything, or know any other good sites, email me at 

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flyingpurpletreefrog@hotmail.com or leave a review telling me. I would prefer email, 

but whatever. I will naturally say you are the source of the info if it gets posted (which 

if you give it to me, it will…). Even if you have no news, please review anyway, just 

at first, so I can judge whether it is a good idea to continue this. If you think it 

shouldn't be here, and it sucks, then please tell me. Or, if you think the opposite, tell 

me that as well. I need to know what you think!

Happy hunting, luv slime xxx


	2. 23:02:03

Welcome to the second 'broadcast' of the AFNS. Not much to report this time, but there's some pretty crucial AF3 stuff… 

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BOOK THREE:

~ _Book three is apparently coming out on 3rd of July, 2003_… like, OMG!!!! This came to me courtesy of crazygirl007. Thanks girl. You're a star! To ye others… It has been confirmed as this date for the UK, but of course, due to the evil, stupid, horrible traitor that Eoin Colfer is, the USA get it first. Yankees, cower in the face of my wrath and jealousy, and FEEL THE SHAME! *in a normal voice* I think your release date is 1st May, 2003. *mutters several un-typeable expletives* 

~ _There is now a synopsis… _*runs around screaming* I know what it's about, I know what it's about, I know what it's about!!!! Ahem. I shall now proceed to copy and paste what it is about for your benefit and education. I suppose I should probably say that I got this off the Barnes and Nobel website… so even though it's not like they'd ever be as sad as us and come here, thanks to them.

Ever the resourceful young criminal mastermind, Artemis has found a way to construct a supercomputer from stolen fairy technology. Called the "C Cube," it will render all existing human technology obsolete. Artemis then arranges a meeting with a Chicago businessman, Jon Spiro, to offer to suppress the Cube for one year in return for gold, his favourite substance. But the meeting is a trap, and Spiro steals the Cube and mortally injures Butler. Artemis knows his only hope to save Butler lies in fairy magic, so once again he is forced to contact his old rival, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon fairy police.

Miraculously, Butler is healed, but there is a catch: he has aged fifteen years. Thus, Butler's infamously ditzy sister, Juliet, is called in as Artemis's bodyguard. Together, they travel to Chicago to steal back the Cube and ensure that Jon Spiro is put out of business -- permanently.

~_ There are pictures of the American and English covers on amazon_… Now, typically of course, it's the American cover that came first, and the link to that page is:

h t t p : / / I m a g e s . a m a z o n . c o m / I m a g e s / P / 0 7 8 6 8 1 9 1 4 6 . 0 1 . L Z Z Z Z Z Z Z . j p g

Now, I see you thinking, why the hell is the link that spaced out? *growls* well, it's like that because my frelling piece of dren disguised as a computer completely frells up the format, deletes half the text, and even if I get that fixed, the thoddo doesn't even show the frelling links. *takes a deep breath* So, I had to put a space between every single character. I'm really sorry I couldn't fix it in time, so you're just gonna have to paste it into your browser and delete all the spaces. Sorry. Next one's the same, I'm afraid.

Now the English cover is obviously so much cooler… even if we are getting it two months later *has to be restrained from tracking down Colfer and inflicting foul (geddit? foul/Fowl? God, I'm sad…) dismemberment*. The link for this is:

H t t p : / / I m a g e s – e u . a m a z o n . c o m / I m a g e s / P / 0 6 7 0 9 1 3 5 2 9 . 0 2 . L Z Z Z Z Z Z Z . j p g

*makes shooing gestures* get, get, get! Go see!!!

~ _The ISBN number is 0670913529_… Well… kinda speaks for itself don't it? Just thought I'd add it in case it means anything to any of you. That's the English one, by the way.

~ _There are 352 pages in the English copy, 288 pages in the American copy_… Yay! Lots then! I guess this also means that, like in TAI, the English copy has a new language along the bottom, like the first, but the American copy doesn't. *looks sympathetic* But who knows, eh?

~ _It will be published with a hardcover_… oh, such big news there. *points to self* all cynicism here…

~_ False alarm on the murder mystery_… there isn't one… Colfer's writing Eternity Code_ and_ a murder mystery. Kitty Rainbow pointed that out to me. CG7 got confused, I think. Sorry girl! I was getting excited about that too!

~ _Puffin have signed Colfer for Artemis Fowl books three **and** four_… Yes! There is a God! Thanks to Kitty Rainbow for telling me that. Lets just hope it's true, and goes ahead…

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MOVIE

Nothing new on the Arty film, but apparently Miramax have signed Colfer for Wish List as well. *shakes head sadly* does this never end?

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LINKS

www.eoincolfer.com

His official site… now updated and not looking like a seven-year-old designed and did it in a couple of IT lessons… It's pretty good. I haven't had time to go through the whole thing yet, but there is a news spot, oh joy. And watch out for the music on the homepage… it's off the tape if you ain't heard it, and it's really good…

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That's it for now, folks. Nothing new for the movie, but plenty for the book, oh joy. May I just take this opportunity to thank everyone who reviewed, sent emails and provided info for me. Keep it coming! I'm really sorry it took this long… I've been busy lately, what with me being a perfectionist, especially when it comes to writing SB, and it takes a while for enough to accumulate… though not this long. Anyway, as yet, I have not been got by the bot, so let's make the most of it while we can! And to those of you who can understand al bhed: rammu! E yccola oui yha y wehym wyhdyco… e tuh'd ysdiymmo ry(v – I can't remember what it is in al bhed)a ed, pid ed husgc! Ok, back to English now. If you understood any of that, then congratulations, and I didn't know there were any ff fans who came here! And if you're The Oracle or faerie enchantress, that's cheating. You know where the translator is and you were the one that taught me, Sher…

REVIEW my dears, REVIEW AND EMAIL!!!!

Happy hunting once again, luv slime xxx


	3. 25:05:03

Right then folks… just a short 'broadcast' today, as this is mainly to hand you lot over to Kitty and tell you about the most exciting news I've had… since I found out about TEC. Actually, speaking of TEC… I do know it's out, before anyone else tells me, and it did indeed come out on the wrong day in the UK. I don't know about the US. *sighs* great book. But a crushing ending that made me incredibly depressed until I found out! Haha! ****

BOOK

~ _There will be a fourth book_… *screams, faints, hyperventilates, runs round in circles, jumps up and down, tears out hair, screams some more, weeps with joy, chews lips/fingers/nails/cheeks/hands* OOOOOHHHHHHHHH MMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!! *bursts* I knew we could count on him! I knew he wouldn't let us down!!! There is hope still!!! The fairy world is not lost!!!! *screams, then passes out*

*comes round* Thanks to becca as it was in an A/N in her fic that I first saw the news, then ran off looking for it myself (thanks girl – your fic seriously disturbs me, but your info probably saved my life)

~ _The title for the fourth book is 'The Opal Deception'_… *same as above* geez, I'm shaking… which, as becca deduced, may possibly mean Opal Koboi is back! Bring on the pixies! But, as Eoin said in this online chat thing I found, it may get changed later.

~ _There may be more Arty books_… my store of excitement and hysteria is used up for one day I think. Let's just say that suicide I was planning when I finished TEC is put off for a while… ;)

~ _Eoin has thought about maybe doing spin-off books about Mulch and/or Juliet_… but this was a very maybeyish maybe, so don't get your hopes up.

~ _Artemis will be fourteen in book four_… haha. Hehe. *reminds self that she's been 15 for months, and by the time TOD (*shudders* a new abbreviation…) is out, she'll be 16* crud…

~ _He is writing the book now, so we have a long time to wait_… but that's OK! For now!

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MOVIE

Nothing new to report… *mumbles* stupid pmuuto frelling vilgehk thing… (swear words translated into al bhed to avoid rating issues)

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LINKS

www.artemis-fowl.blogspot.com

This is Kitty Rainbow's news page which she was too noble to put a specific link to on her author page, but her page is about a million times better than this one, so GO THERE! As this is likely to be the last time I do this, I'd just go to her whenever you want news. She updates, like, all the time.

www.artemis-fowl.de

The German website for the second book that some of you may recall me babbling about (in fact, I may have already put the link and didn't see it when I looked just now, so if so, sorry) but it's vaguely amusing, and has a picture of Holly in an orange jump-suit. Haha.

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Well then… this is probably good bye for this thing, so thank you one last time to all those who contributed info and of, course everyone who reviewed!

Happy hunting (never was this more apt, I feel)

slime xxx


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